paris tmr (: i absolutely can't wait :D to walk down the paris streets at night singing moon river. and to sit by a cafe watching the world go by and listening to la vie en rose. its a dream come true. i've waited for paris for years.. no lover -.- but damnit, i'm going to paris!!!

-sings and waltzes around room-

shopping with shimoni today was (((: she's such a darling. thank god for her as my floormate :D

the next two weeks are gonna be one heck of a two weeks. se7en on tues. i got my dress alr!!! haha, its red and supposed to be for anger, but apparently its looking like lust -.- whateverrrr (smirks). weds e singsoc exco girls are going for a day trip out i think. hahaha, seeing as how se7en's going to end at 4. and we're all skipping classes/lectures. then i've got to finish an essay on sunday. so i can have e whole of my last week to spend with kaleni darling (: at least he comes on tues, which means i would have finished up 2/3 of my week alr. heh. THEN there's all that bloody holiday shopping to squeeze in. ROARS. its going to be pretty tighhht. THEN IT'S BACK TO SINGAPOREEEEEEEEEEEEEEE :D i can't wait! hehehee.

[edit] just rmbed smthing. angela's off to hk on 12th. so e days before 12th will be spending time with my sweetie (((: who i'll miss incredibly for 3 weeks ))): cos i see her EVERYDAY. no day goes by where i don't talk to/see her. hahaha. and on 12th i got singsoc ice-skating somemore. with the one mary poppins musical shoved somewhere. brilliant.

and apaprently, i've got this brit accent now when i talk to non-sporeans :p AHAHAHA, that i promptly drop when i see e sporeans and launch into this rapid-fire chinese -.- this is extreme i tell you.

i seem to be babbling nonsense. but i'm waiting for my nails to dry, and i really feel like babbling. so yes. its my blog. so there :p suck it up.

i can't believe i'm actually missing taka, paragon, palais renaissance, far east & raffles city. the list of what/who i miss can go on and on. shit larh, but i got 3 essays due 2nd week lent term ): which means i must bring all my books back to mug mug. wonderful.[/edit]

but i tell you i'll seriously miss angela & e holborn boys when i get back ): i see them EVERY SINGLE DAY you know. they're like my family alr. its going to be a weird 3 weeks. but i'll be back with loads of goodies (((: haha.

at least hongmin, joyce, kenny, ashley & shib are all going back :D we can go for our lovely suppers and send pics back to london to ka-chiao em. mehehehe.

i can't believe my first term's almost up. its been an absolute blast (:

je'taime.

: moon river :: louis armstrong :

mooting was goood (: won e moot, although we lost e legal verdict. but it was bullshit trying to argue our case in a court anyway.

no more question marks now. all fullstops. at least i can stop some of the swirlings in my head. its been driving me insane. i've been lacking that peace..

i came to london to escape you. to learn to live without you. and yet despite the distance, despite e number of barriers i've put to stop me from getting there, the shadow of everything still hangs over me. i'm fucked.

shopping tmr. paris friday (: happy things to look forward to. plus my uncle's buying me a bagggg :D mehehehe.

JEREMY MARK PEREIRA, I'M COMING HOME TO SKIN YOU ALIVE -.-

new fav song of e moment (: haha, well it ain't new, but i think its perfect for now.

Desperate for changing
Starving for truth
I'm closer to where I started

Chasing after you

I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you

Forgetting all I'm lacking
Completely incomplete
I'll take your invitation
You take all of me now...

I'm falling even more in love with you
Letting go of all I've held onto
I'm standing here until you make me move
I'm hanging by a moment here with you

I'm living for the only thing I know
I'm running and not quite sure where to go
And I don't know what I'm diving into
Just hanging by a moment here with you

There's nothing else to lose
There's nothing else to find
There's nothing in the world
That can change my mind
There is nothing else
There is nothing else
There is nothing else

mooting tmr! i hope i win (: haha.

i'm so incredibly thankful i have angela here (: she gets me through everything. hahaha.

our tuesday dates (((:

this is what we do in lectures :p ahahaha.

i'm really appreciative of how different all my friends here are. so for everything there's always someone who's up for it (:

but still, i can't wait to go home (((: 3 more weeks. then i can drive down the ecp again. i really think tt driving gets all my thoughts sorted out. ahaha. then i can spend time with screw. meet my juniors. go shopping. bake. i need to bake desperately. i have no outlet for me to vent. WATCH MOVIES DAMNIT. movies here can go up to S$60 you know. bloody madness i tell you.

off to finish my mooting argument. so hopefully i can get some damn sleep -.-

: hanging by a moment :: lifehouse :

[edit] i'm sitting in front of my laptop with my pint of espresso vanilla. watching e video in jerrine's blog -.- JER! you've got that song stuck in my head now larh. ahaha. i think its a super cute song (: its called 'a teenager in love'. i need to get back to my mooting argument damnit. but i very sian. haha. it seems like monday morning lectures is my catchup time with cass :D great for my heart. bad for my brains, cos i really end up not doing anything in ils. brilliant.

One day I feel so happy

Next day I feel so sad

I guess I'll learn to take the good with the bad

'Cause each night I ask the stars up above

Why must I be a teenager in love

i wonder how old neil sedaka was when he sang this song. hmms. doubt he was a teen :p [/edit]

se7en. the end. dec 4th tuesday. 7 or 10 pound tickets (: DO COMEEE!

hums. i just randomly scrounged up a skeleton argument for my moots :p brilliant. hahaha, chris is going to read and vommit blood. smirks.

finally uploaded the pictures from my new hp into my laptop. its only 2mp, as compared to my flip phone. so a tad bit grainy yeah. but e pictures i've got on them are hilarious :D hahaha.

marcus & ashraf's happy birthday sloppy wet KISS for sanjiv. hahaha. they all look like they're really enjoying it :p

e night before notts :p in marcus room. scandalous shit. that's tong in ashraf's arms btw (next to hongmin). ahahaha. and tag behind hongmin. grins.

lovely stuff eh (;

hmms. proverbs like 'patience is a virtue' and 'curiosity killed the cat' keeps swirling around my head. hah.

: hanging on by a moment :: lifehouse :

you disappoint me terribly. but i cannot say i didn't expect it.

i guess i knew all along, just that i wasn't ready, or perhaps strong enough to walk away. its been a long time coming. but i think its finally time. i feel like i've finally opened up my eyes and looked clearly at everything. its feels like an absolute farce. hah.

so long now. i'm moving on to happier times.

pictures!!! some overdue, some recent (: i'm blogging at 6.30am cos hongmin and i talked on the phone for the past 5 hours -.- ahahaha. i love free calls between halls :D

singsoc 07 exco selling chengteng at e lse foodfair!

ashraf & i. on e way to the temasek forum. haha, all dressed up (:

yangqi in his new coat :p

pat, joy, lynn, alison & i at IKEAAAA! went all e way to zone 3 man.

aren't our kids overgrown :p haha.

MEATBALLS. omg. how i've missed em. and in e process, missing steffish too ):

kings college chapel (: honeypot concert!

michelle & joyce. 3 happy girls with candles.

ashraf with flowers, broccoli & his guitar. haha.

guitar boy (;

CHONGSSS :DDDD was super happy to see her. hehehee. first time since coming to london!

525,600 minutes

stuck in my head

so many thoughts & doubts swirling round and round

its a friday night. i'm home alone. all the boys (except yangqi who's asleep) are out. potential sad situation. ahaha. but its all good (: some quiet time after an extremely long hectic week. which involved two essays being written, one which took like 16 hours, then had to be presented in class -.- but angela and i totally rocked our presentation :D ahaha, everyone said we were so in sync. whoopee. i'm really pleased with my essay presentation.

walked home alone in the cold just now. not particularly pleasant. but that nice long (very cold) stroll cleared things up quite abit in my mind. i'll just adopt this very non pro-active attitude towards things. if they happen, they happen (: i'm not going to chase anything anymore. i kinda made that resolution this year. and i think its been good, and safe so far. what's meant to be, will be right? haha.

i just wish others would be as pro-active, as i am non-pro-active :p

went for ashraf's honeypot concert tonight (((: goldfish!! your lse friend's (hot) gf is my friend's ex gf, who was in this play in ucl called pagoda st. ahahaha. they brought e play back to spore, and i was involved in the 2nd production of it :p e world is so bloody small right. she was singing at e concert. anywayyy, ashraf rocked my socks off :DDD i'm his groupie. grins. the innocent version yeah. haha, this whole contingent of lse year 1s were there to cheer him on. hehh. he is seriously (y). and i know he'll be reading this, so

WONDERFUL PERFORMANCE ASHRAF (((:

the christmas songs just made me miss home so much ): i've been so busy with schoolwork & singsoc stuff lately i haven't had the time to really think about christmas. now with everything more or less settling down i can slowly bask in the christmas spirit (: i love love love christmas just cos its time for everyone i love to come together and be happy. haha.

oohooh! kaleni's coming up in december :DDD i miss my darling! hahaha. i absolutely can't wait. it'll just be like cambridge all over again! whee. haha.

LASTLY! PARIS NEXT WEEKEND!!! -bounces- i can't wait :D hongmin, angela, nicole, ayla & i! whoope

off i go to watch my heroes!

above thy deep and dreamless sleep

the silent stars go by

i could hold you in my arms

i could hold you forever..

today was possibly one of the most miserable days ever. cold, rainy day. feeling horrible. dreaming about being back home. dreaming of warmth. i hate being sick.

but i must say the holborn boys really do try to take care of me (:

that was the one burst of sunshine in this miserable miserable day. sighs.

i need to shut my mouth soon.

plus i need to clear my thoughts. figure out what it is i need, or really want. this going along with the flow thing is not working out for me. i was never like that, doubt i ever will be.

true colours are all coming out. not sure if that's good or bad.

i'm really going insane.

i've got way too many things going on now to handle this atop of everything.

i just want things to be simple and comfortable.

its almost e same thing with wj again. fuck.

its this whole awkward pit i'm falling into.

talking to dione and jerrine just now made me feel so much better inside (: then that phonecall to mel was loveee i tell you. hahaha. it just amazes me how much mel can guess what i'm feeling or what i did with just one sentence from me. i miss that girl so much ): it feels like i'm missing a part of me.

today was a miserable day ): stayed in bed sick. i'm a sick kitten. sighs. got up to do my essay -.- and that's all i've been doing ever since. thank goodness i cooked porridge last night, so i just left it my rice cooker and had it today with my nai nai (((: i miss my mummy and yet ): haha. i wish i had someone to take care of me on days like these. but i can't find the ability to tell ppl i'm sick and i hope they can come look after me -.- makes me feel useless. haha, oxymoronic i know. ah wells.

i realise i've always been good at taking care of other ppl, but never quite so after myself. sad case only -.-

lardeedum. coughing my lungs out ain't fun ):

part of me is telling myself that there is no point of longing after what's back in spore. cos everything is impossible from such a distance. i'm trying to keep my focus only on london. and hoping that i can find or have found my happiness/comfort here.

i can't wait for paris (((: i've been waiting for this for forever. i do hope i get well by then.

sighs. its back to essays now ): sad ass weekend. ooh but highlight was the temasek forum where i got to meet christoper de souza again :D heheee, i'd love to go back to lee & lee to do my summer internship. fun fun :D

i'm getting upset with myself. to the point that my moods are flipping up and down.. this ain't good. i thought i was able to control my emotions better alr. after all this time, and after all the nonsense. i was lucky to maintain it twice, but i don't think i'll always be this lucky. i don't want to spoil everything that is good now. but yet there's a part of me that's unconsciously reacting towards what i think.

this is insanity & i'm not making particularly much sense. if what i think ain't true. it'll be a fucking joke. if it is true, i'm not sure how i'm going to react either.

but i know the path i'm heading on now isn't a good one. but at the same time it brings me the comfort i'm lacking.

i plead insanity.

some idiot's playing e ukulele downstairs -.-

i must say i so appreciate my friends and loved ones (((:

but i must also say that erh, the not happy part is not about lse in general. but a certain part of lse life that i'm in involved in -.- but after today, everything seems to be turning up :D so i'm happy happy. albeit sick again. this sick cycle is annoying me.

OOOOOOOOOOOH. i curse the person in flat 2a who set off the bloody fire alarm at 12 midnight. i was standing in e cold shivering cos i forgot to grab my jacket -.- wtf. there was no fire AT ALL. and e fire engines came and all. my mind was racing through what i had in my room that i should have rescued in my room went up in flames.

damn drama night. god. ok. no mood to study AT ALL. damnit. i need to start my essays tmr. this is giving me a headache.

i really wonder what came over me in my decision to choose what i chose. this has not been an easy road at all. and i've not been particularly very happy. e irony of it all.

i wish i could have my comfort source by my side..

and i must say that ashraf, marcus & yangqi have been what's keeping me going all this time (:

slept the whole day away yest. dead dead tired. 14 hours of sleep. slept when e sky was dark, and woke up when e sky was dark -.- hahaha, i kinda like it. no sunlight at all (; i'm a vampire. grrs. ahaha. i think i'm abit high on caffiene.

i'm currently sitting in my intro to legal system lect blogging away. whoopee. hahaha. ok. pics update from notts :D we actually left london at 5 am to get to notts by coach -.- didn't sleep e whole bloody night. was a) cooking chengteng b) ranting c) talking shit in marcus room d) bitching in my kitchen e)nursing a headache. reached lse at 4.45 am. and got back to lse at 10pm, after which marcus, ashraf, ashley, tong, hong min & i went for dinner at chinatown.

ahaha. we didn't have proper lunches or dinner larh. we were STARVING. so all in all, two days of seeing no sunshine in london at all :p

lse netball team 1 :D tammi, han yi, me, rachel, pat, angela & hong min!

tammi (: she's adorable! haha.

for facebook :D so we won't have to show our ugly faces on tagged photos. grins.

lulu! she played for imperial.

rachel :D

bloody freezing netball courts in notts. we were continuously jumping up and down to keep warm -.- i played in a t-shirt la. freezed my arms off damnit.

e gorgeous fields & trees in notts (:

lse chengteng stall! my sweat and blood i tell you -.-

ANGIE BABYYYYYYY :D i was super happy to see angieeeee! hehehee.

angie and i on e grass :D

jingxuan, celine, inez, huiying, michelle & i (:

marcus e old man :p

tag!


RG GIRLS :D hahaga. 123456!

kenneth (: who's actually sitting next to me now. ahahaha

i've so missed playing netball. i must say lse team 1 rocked (((: though we only won 1 match. hahaha. out of 4, but it was a gd trashing! haha. 15-1 :D but all that just makes me miss 202 & 408 even more..

hello there. the angel from my nightmare..

: blind :: lifehouse :

i'm so horribly tired i can barely move. my arm is hurting from all e netball -.- but at least i made it through without any real injuries. shall update more tmr, when i'm abit more alive.

3 things that made my day (:

- seeing angie

- call from interdependent

- realising who are my real friends here

i am so angry at that bloody josh. he's malaysian and he hates spore & sporeans. he asked me to join this 'spore sucks' facebook grp where they go on and on trashing singapore. i'm sorry you are so brainwashed that you can't see right from wrong. or that you're just a plain moronic idiot. omg. i can't believe such ppl exist here i tell you. and he stays in holborn somemore. blood boiling.
ROARS. ok. trying to calm down. move on to happier things.

kaylene :D

royal albert hall

outside e royal albert hall

went for e ray lamontagne concert last night with kaylene (: ROYAL ALBERT HALL. omg. his voice is loveeee i tell you :DDDDD it was so good. kaylene and i were like just gushing away, feeling all so warm & fuzzy inside despite e freezing cold on our way home. heheheee :D listening to ray lamontagne now is slightly easing my pissed off mood. grumbles. but anyway, e royal albert hall is love i tell you (: i went there to watch e royal ballet company's swan lake in my first trip to london. with my parents. omg i loved it so much (: haha. and after all these yrs. finally going back. sitting there, listening to ray, i really felt that i was in one of the best places on earth (((: i have this slight infatuations with performing arenas.

anyway, e sporeans came over tonight to try out my friend rice before we sell it at e international food fair on monday. omg. stress stress only -.- chengteng cooking on friday night for notts games. notts games on sat. cooking on sun & mon for international food fair on monday. dieeee. plus i've got 2 law fairs on monday & tuesday somemore. WIN. but had chengteng todayyy :D which was yum yum yummmm. hehehehe. love i tell you.

had cramps today. didn't go for lect. its been a rough week larh. sighs. plus i lost my big knife ): i'm grumpy, cranky and abit sad. (i realise i sound like a ganster who lost his parang. hahaha)

screw all those who say spore sucks & singlish is shit. there's no place in this world better than spore (((: and singlish, rocks my socks :p screw those speak good english campaigns man. hrrmphs.

: hold you in my arms :: ray lamontagne :

there are some ppl in this world that make up the scum of the earth. absolutely disgusting, self-righteous, unreasonable arseholes. i don't think i'd have believed till i saw. happened twice somemore. no matter how many rude ppl i've met, today seriously takes e cake. hands down.

ROARS. anyway. i feel slightly (slightly being e word here) accomplished (: i finished two essays over sunday and today. which are due like in one half weeks time!!! hahaha. but that's cos i'm going to notts on sat. and won't have time to do. and e worst part is, i still have 2 more to do -.- and like 2 chapts each from 4 books to finish before classes tmr. ARGHS. who the hell said that lse was slack. slack my big fat arse.

but at least talking to anwar last night on msn gave me the happiness boost to last me through this rather miserable day. haha. plus it was super cold today. temp dropped like mad and there was no sun at all. we were all standing along houghton st for e notts games signup shivering like mad -.-

i can't wait to play netball!!! hehehee. i haven't played netball since like e rg days. oh happy memories. but i wish all the nonsense trouble would just go away, so we can all happily go up to notts. and i get to see angie babyyy!

hearing the fireworks outside my window reminds me of the many many nights i would sit in my study watching e fireworks outside my window. how i miss home..

: 1974 :: james blunt :

today was an ABSOLUTE waste of my saturday -.- bloody finance forum. seriously not my cup of tea. i could see the interest 'turn off' e moment i mentioned i was studying law. bah. this is why i feel i should only go for law events from now on. plus the fact that i know shit about finance and the banking industry just makes me feel rather inadequate sometimes -.- seeing as how most lse ppl here would kill for an ibanking job. haha. this is really a whole new world for me. i thought rj was competitive. this is phwoar i tell you. absolute madness. ooh how i really don't like this part. and e amount of pressure other ppl put on you. peer pressure. grumbles. i want to be para para-ing and not dressing up in suits and meeting stupid old ppl.

i'm trying to be concerned and driven regarding my future, but at the same time, i'm here to have fun and play damnit. uni is supposed to be e best time of my life. i don't want to spend it like this. conflicting things i tell you. but anyway, i have generally decided that i'm going to fuck care all e events shit, do my work, play and be happy (: with e exception of law events larh.

i'm not going to go back to spore only to say that i've spent my time in london forcing myself to be someone i'm not, and forcing myself to grow up immediately.

groans.

oh god. my blood pressure went wayy down suddenly. wasn't feeling that great yesterday alr, and now i feel like i'm floating among e clouds. brilliant. really not my idea of fun. sighs.

anyway, this week has been a hectic, tiring, shit week. it wasn't bad. just that everything got jammed together. plus celebrating my bday e whole weekend, didn't do wonders for my sleep. haha.

had my first moot on weds which was :DDDD i love it. hahaha. i was junior respondent. and we won! woohoo. very very happy. i honestly don't mind taking this on seriously (: mucho fun.

ashley ran for SU. got 1st for like two positions :D but he'll prob only get like court of governors out of e 2. but i'm damn happy for him la. first year, asian and with only us 1st years sporeans helping him out with e campaigning, its a damn good result (: haha. he'll be e first south-east asian in e SU ever. cool eh!

joyce, me, hongmin & alison campaigning for ashley on houghton st! hehe.

VOTE FOR ASHLEY! (hongmin & joyce)

me!

singsoc has way too much politics for my liking. comparable to that of dance club in rj, including e peishan incident -.- wtf lah. i thought that we were all gonna come here and act like mature individuals. and all this shit happens. how wonderful.

i don't dare to bathe cos i'm afraid i will faint in the shower -.- whee.

my next-door-neighbour is irritating the shit out of me. screaming girls all night long, hindi movies blasting all e time. bloody hell

ginger tea is the best when you're feeling like shit (:

notts games in a week!!! i absolutely can't wait! i get to see angiee baby (((: plus we're cooking chengting to sell. ahaha.

: doing that thing you do :: the wonders :